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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
I've got bad news for most of us
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I've got bad news for most of us I found out today that New York City is the only place worth living . All 7 billion people on the planet need to live there . It turns out every place that is not New York City is a fetid depressing shithole not fit for human habitation . And what's more did you know that any person who doesn't want to live in New York City is a worthless sack of crap that should kill themselves immediately ? Like the dalai lama - that guy doesn't want to live in NYC so fuck him right in the ear , fucking asshole . And Kate Middleton ? She doesn't want to live in NYC so she's no better than a common gutterwhore cunt . Logistically it will be challenging to get 7 billion people into New York City - I mean its a big place , but its going to have to drastically expanded . Although how much expansion can we do and still have it be New York ? I guess we'll have to build mostly up and tunnel down rather than out to retain its New Yorkness . And getting everyone there , that's going to be a big hassle in and of itself . Moving that many people across the globe ? Yikes . It will be worth it though . One other thing we'll need to figure out it is where we're going to get our food from . Cannibalism can bridge the gap somewhat , NYC has a pretty high murder rate and its going to skyrocket when the population increases almost 900 times - no use in letting all that meat go to waste - but still that's not much in the overall context . There's about two million rats there but that also isn't going to last 7 billion people every long . What I wonder , would it be okay for maybe a billion people to live in NYC but commute to the horrible , horrible part of the world that isn't NYC to grow food and raise animals ? Or would they not be real New Yorkers then ? Its going to be a real difficult task to get everyone to live in one city , even a city as clearly fantastic as NYC - but we'll manage somehow . We have to . Everywhere else is the literal worst . Its what Jesus wants . Not the stupid Jerusalem one , but the good NYC one .  What I wonder is when we all live in NY (or die trying) will earth be an ecumenopolis - technically no , but in spirit yes ? It will be good news for all the other species on the planet , they'll get a lot more room to roam around . Ecologically it may be a disaster but hey , its New York City baby , fuggettaboutit ! A comedian on the TV the other day said that what we'll do most of the time is be dead . Which is a good bit , but it got me to thinking about what I do most of the time . Not in general - I'm at work , I'm running errands - but specifically what do I do the most . And its probably having conversations in my head . I spend a lot of time thinking "okay , so Linda's going to say this , and then I'll say this , and she'll say this so I'll say this etc." But Linda never does say that , so its just a conversation in my head . That's probably what I do the most . I would estimate that for every real conversation that I've actually had I've probably had about a dozen of these nonversations if I can coin a term . Oh I can't ? Sorry . I can't remember if I mentioned they should just make alcoholic Coca-Cola yesterday , I think I did , but I came up with an even better idea today . Alcoholic chicken soup . That is a billion $$$ idea . I thought of this when I realized today that I don't think I've had chicken soup since college . No wonder my soul is so screwed up . And finally , why are all sticks of gum the same length ? How did that happen ? Doesn't that seem strange ? You'd think some company or another would make their stick longer and market it as "10% more gum !' or some company would make it smaller to try to lower production costs . Isn't that weird ? Is there one company that makes ALL the gum ? I thought monopolies were<b> illegal . </font></b>J/K they're totally not . I feel like maybe there was some shadow war that almost ruined society and to save the world (and more importantly NYC) they decreed that all sticks of gum had to be the same . Also I hear girth is more important than length anyway . Which gum is the girthiest ? In conclusion if you already live in New York City good job ! You're the only people who matter for now . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Can I just live here and be a NYC suburb? Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I think the gum thing is because the international gum cartels control 90% of the gum sold so that explains the rigorous size control. i think if you go to some of the backwoods parts of Kentucky you can buy some bootleg gum in really big pieces, just saying.
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