Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
So this one time
|
So this one time I start a lot of my stories like that . People razz me about it sometimes . Sometimes when I say that they say "At band camp ?" which is not a reference I get . I'm given to understand its an American Pie reference . . . . . this lady says to me that she wants to lay in bed naked and not have sex . And I say that's cool . Then she says that being able to lay together naked without having sex is true intimacy . And I kind of shrug non-committedly but in my mind I'm thinking "that's dumb" . We strip down and settle in , I'm on my back and she's got her head on my chest - I think there's a name for that non-sex position but it escapes me . After a while I start to fall asleep which is weird because I can never sleep on my back usually , but then she starts fooling around down there and that wakes me up pretty good . So I figure we are going to have sex after all and I start to do some stuff but she shrugs me off so I guess not . But then she starts in again , I try to reciprocate and again I am rebuffed . So she starts in a third time and I think , well maybe she just wants to do stuff to me and I'm not supposed to mess with her - maybe that's a thing . But after a while she just stops and gets up and gets dressed , and I take a nap . So later on I'm making a sandwich and she's watching me and she says "What happened back there , I thought we were going to fool around ." And I said that A - she said she didn't want to have sex and B - she kept giving me the cold shoulder and she says "I wanted you to force me a little bit" and I asked her why she didn't tell me that and she disdainfully said "that would have ruined it" . . . . . as I was expressing my displeasure with English I wondered if other languages have homonyms . I learned the other day that Japanese does , and that a common trope in Japanese comedy is the use of homonyms for comedic effect . Such as someone will see a sign that says "Cross traffic doesn't stop" and they say "this traffic doesn't look angry to me , so they will stop" and then they step out into the road and get massacred . Cue the laugh track . So Japanese is now also on my list of hated languages . . . . . this guy says to me "you want to hear a joke ?" and I said that I didn't but he told me anyway , as people do . So he said "The cops pull us over and they tell us to whip out our dicks and I whip out my 12 inch cock and you whip out your 1 inch cock" and then he didn't say anything for a while and then he nudge me and said "Okay" and I said "whatever" and then he started laughing his ass off and saying "you have a one inch cock !" over and over . I was annoyed by this , not because he said I have a one inch cock , but because that in no way qualifies as a joke - and comedy is sacred to me . So I started kicking him in the back of the legs and he pretended it didn't hurt but I could see that it did . Eventually he crumbled to the ground and I started stomping on the backs of his legs . I think I really hurt him . I'm kind of sorry . But kind of not . Mostly I'm sorry that I didn't explain that I wasn't mad about the cock thing , I was mad about the shitty joke structure . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
|||
|
I agree, I can't read minds. It's frustrating.
| ||
|
Ha! It is true, when you're secretly wishing a guy would "get a little rough" with you, it ruins it to have to direct him. Still a shitty game to play, though. That's where blogs come in handy. You put your fantasy in the blog, he reads it and gets the hint.   
| ||
|
"Cross traffic" very funny, very funny indeed. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
|
Become a member to create a blog
