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Today is a great day for sex and masturbation
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Today is a great day for sex and masturbation Take a bite of this apple Mr. corporate events Take a walk through the jungle Of cardboard shanties and tents This summer I went to a corporate picnic deal at a local park and while there I saw a take a full two liter of Sunkist run up behind another and hurl it with all his strength into the other 's spine . Now based on the surprised look on the thrower's face what he was expecting to happen was for the bottle to burst harmlessly like a water balloon - merely soaking his victim with sugary orange slurry . As opposed to what did happen , which was the throwee collapsing to the group in an agonized heap screaming "I hope you burn in Hell !" I'm not great at guessing the ages of (or adults) but I would guess they were around 10 . My first question is - how dumb was the first to think that wouldn't hurt ? And my second question , how much would it hurt ? Would it really be that bad as to require damning someone to Hell over it ? I kind of want to try it , just to see . Just like I want to get hit with a chair because I'm told it hurts but it doesn't hurt that much - IF you do it right . There's an art to it of course , you need to keep the chair flat against the back of the person you're hitting . And that's what I worry about - that if I had my buddy 8Bit smack me with a chair his technique would be flawed and he's break me to pieces with the edge .  I wonder what the trick to the chairshot to the head is , if there is one . Based on what I know the "trick" very well might be ending up with CTE .  Why is Sunkist orange ? Shouldn't it be yellow like the sun (although the sun isn't really yellow) ? Or really I suppose it should be brown right ? As in "made warm or brown by the sun" . Why does it have to be orange just because it has orange flavor (sort of) ? That's lazy . The magazine Men's Health rated Sunkist as the worst soda in the United States , citing its extremely high sugar content equivalent to 6 Oreo Ice Cream Sandwiches and its artificial coloring agents yellow 6 and red 40 which may be linked to behavioral and concentration problems in . Pfft , Men's Health , what do they know ? X-Man body plan my ass . I think we all know behavioral and concentration problems can be solved by pegging someone with a full two liter . They say the clothes make the man , and I believe that , but then what makes the woman ? Probably the juggs .  I had a dream the other night that consisted only of a large banner hanging over a desk that read "Today is a great day for sex and masturbation !" . That's it , that was the whole dream . Nothing happen . And it seemed to go on for hours . It made me think of the horrible local morning show "Great Day" and how amusing it would be to have those stiffs talking about sex and masturbation in the typical phony upbeat annoying morning show banter kind of way . That's a comedy gold mine . Speaking of , another good bit I think would be this ; at work every has to have posted on their wall the corporate plan for what happens if a kidnapper calls or a bomb threat comes in or other ridiculous things of that nature , whenever this is discussed everyone makes the same STUPID stupid joke "If someone called in a bomb threat I'm going to run !" Anyway , I think it would be funny if you had a dude sitting at his desk being a typical bored guy at work and a terrorist calls in a threat and he responds with the same enthusiasm you get from a normal call to any company ever . "Hello ? You say there's a bomb in the building ? Hold on a second . (flips through the procedure) Okay , here we go , it says I'm supposed to ask you where the bomb is . Can you tell me where the bomb is located ? No ? Okay , just a second (flips some more) okay it says I'm not supposed to confront you about that . It says here I should ask you about your demands , do you have any demands ? Okay , wait a second , I need to get a pen . . . . . just hold on a second . . . . need something to write on . . . ." And so forth . And finally , how often does this happen to you - you're cruising around the blogzone and you stumble across a blog you really like so you "watch" it and then they never post anything interesting to you ever again ? Happens to me all the time . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I don't "watch" based on one post ... unless there's a great hairy manly chest picture involved. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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I don't cruise around in the blogs much anymore, but yes, have watched and been disappointed a few times through the years. Why not break a chair the old fashioned way, by sitting on it?   
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There was a "Documentary" titled "Cleavage". It aired on A&E, Discover, TLC, and any other subsidiaries. Unfortunately it was boring. I wouldn't have thought it COULD be boring. At work last year they gave us a talk on what to do in case of an active shooter. They told us to run. Then they clarified that by adding, "Away from the shooter." That raises several possible questions. "Were they being sarcastic?" "If they weren't being sarcastic how dumb do they think the average employee is?" "Are they that dumb or will I have an easy time outrunning my coworkers?" I watched that documentary several times to verify that it really actually was that boring. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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