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I have no problem being someone's second choice
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I have no problem being someone's second choice People are weird . I say that almost every blog . Write it I mean , I don't say the words I'm typing as I type them . Maybe I should start though - that could be a way to realized how insane what I'm writing is . Anyway , the other day some lady was talking on her cellphone telephone and I heard her whole conversation because you know that's how cellphone telephones work (which is why I hate them - I don't need to know the dumb details of your dumb life) . The gist of her conversation was that she was in love with this dude , he had cheated on her or something but that was over now and he was ready to dedicate himself body and soul to her . But with a sniffle and a catch in her throat she refused me "I love you with all my heart , I can't be your second choice Ralph" (named changed for humor) . Fuck that noise . I don't believe in love and all that nonsense but if I did I would have no problem being someone's second , third , fourth , 900th choice if I really loved them . Isn't love supposed to be , I don't know , the BEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE ?! Its stuff like this that makes me think there is no true love in the world , which is sad , but all evidence seems to be strongly against it . The only "love" that seems to be out there is a cheap ugly kind of love that people are TOTALLY willing to throw away for literally nothing . I've heard people say 800 billion times ; I love her/him but . . . . And then say something totally trivial and dumb . Isn't love like the be all and end all or everything ?  Speaking of love , an adult film actress (Sunny Leone) was on the TV the other day and told me (personally) that the first time you have sex should be with someone you love . Now I literally had sex the first time years ago so that advice didn't do me a lot of good . But does anyone have sex with someone they love the first time out of the gate ? I disqualify myself from this question as I did not have sex until I was a fully grown dude with my own mailbox and everything - but don't most people have sex for the first time when they're<b> teenagers </font></b>(which is gross by the way) ? Are all these 15 year olds blasting each other in the ass in love ? Seems unlikely to me , but what do I know ? Also I take issue with your entire premises Miss Leone (if that is your real name) the first time is awful , and I mean AWFUL why would you want to inflict that on someone you love ? The first time I had sex I thought to myself "I must be gay , that did not feel right at all - that felt like going through a car wash with the windows down and a rabid ferret in my pants ." Which is not what I'm into by the way . I really wanted to post a picture of Sunny Leone wearing Kung Lao's hat . There is no such picture of course and I don't have the photoshop skills to make one . I wish I did . My blog would be all photoshop all the time . Just think of everything I've ever posted only with Kung Lao's hat(s) added everyone . 12000% better right ? Speaking of overhead cellphone telephone conversations , one time there was a movie called Natural Born Killers . When it came out in the year nineteen hundred and ninety-four I loved it (despite horrible , horrible Juliette Lewis) how could I not ? I was sixteen and it was violent , what more could there be ? As an adult I realize its just okay , some parts are good some really suck - Rodney Dangerfield's finest film work of course . One dude said of "Mr. Stone's vision is impassioned , alarming , visually inventive , characteristically overpowering . But it's no match for the awful truth ." Which is pretty much on target . Anyway , getting back to the cellphone thing one part of the movie that I very clearly remember is Iron Man , who was sad sack loser before being invigorated by the mindless bloodshed of Woody from Cheers and she who shall not be named , calls his wife on the cellphone telephone and expresses his new zest for life by stating he's going to come home tonight and make sweet , sweet love to her butthole . You can't hear her side of the conversation except for her response to that ; "No you aren't !" That will stick with me forever because it so silly . If you say to someone who doesn't want to get fucked in the ass that you're going to fuck them in the ass I would expect something like ; "The hell you will !" "Go fuck your OWN ass asshole !" "In your dreams Ralph !" "Fuck you fuck-O !" "I will stab you in the neck and watch the life drain out of your eyes buddy !" And so forth . Saying "no" just doesn't ring true to me . I am a ladyist , I make a study of the ladies . One thing that has always seemed weird to me is how close some of them get to each other when they talk . Dudes pretty much always stay arms length away from one another (at least) but sometimes women get so close I wonder (wish) are they going to kiss ? What does this have to do with Homicide Life on the Street ? Its one of my favorite shows of all time . I missed most of its run on NBC but watched the reruns on CourtTV (which used to be a thing) . I've wanted the series on DVD for a long time but it costs trillions of dollars so I never got it - but my sisters got it for me for my birthday and I was watching it the other day with my gal pal . Her comment "Its a good show but its weird how close they get to each other when they talk ." I had never noticed that before . The cast (pretty much all dudes) get right up in each other's faces , like 2-3 inches away , OFTEN . Why did I not notice that ? Gender bias ? I don't want to think about dudes kissing ? Do I just see what I want to ? Yes to all probably (sadly) . In other lady behavior news , this . In my office at any given time 90% of the female staff is pregnant (and the other 10% is on maternity leave) and I find it interesting how often women who are pregnant at the same time become best friends - and then when they finally have their stupid babies they go back to not hanging out or talking to each other at all . It kind of weirds me out . Seems kind of psychotic . And now , surely no one is reading anymore so I move to the whole point of this blog . The Huffington post WEBsite has a video 'real sex vs, porn sex explained with food' which is worth watching if you haven't seen it . In said video they throw several statistics at you about sex . While I am a big believer in numbers and statistical analysis that only applies to quantifiable things . I would believe these stats more if I didn't know they were all drawn from questionnaires - since according to my research 100% of people lie all the time about everything . And even if they did want to give an honest response most people lie to themselves , especially about sex . Anyway , just for funnsies , I am going to compare the Huffnumbers against my own personal experiences - excluding one night stands and anyone I did not have sex with enough times to get a good sample size . If you really wanted to you could figure out how many women I've had sex with using these figures and the contents of my blog (excluding the one night stands and whatever) guess right and you win a new water heater ! Huffsez - 65% of women have hair down there 40Deuce - only 28% of the women I've been with had any hair "down there" and they still trimmed Huffsez - People need 10-12 minutes to "get going" 40Deuce - Seems about right , unless you just ordered pizza or have a movie you want to catch , then 30-45 seconds Huffsez - 75% of men ejaculate within 3 minutes 40Deuce - I'd kill for three minutes , not a person you know but a animal maybe Huffsez - 71% of women don't have an orgasm from penetration alone 40Deuce - I think one woman I was with had an orgasm once , but it was from penetration Huffsez - 11.5% of women have had a same sex experience 40Deuce - 28% again , at least that's how many admitted it anyway Huffsez - 40% of women have tried anal 40Deuce - 71% of the women I've been with have had anal with me (or wanted to) I think they all had tried it at some point . Also this part of the video super grossed me out - they dipped a banana in chocolate and pulled it out . Huffsez - 22% will take a hot load in the face 40Deuce - No clue , this grosses me out and I have never asked Huffsez - 30% will "swallow" 40Deuce - I have to abstain from this one , only one women has been able to make me "cum" through mouth lovings (although she does swallow [which is gross]) Huffsez - 20% of women have been in a threesome 40Deuce - 28% again (pattern emerging ?) Huffsez - 6% of women squirt 40deuce - 28% (again !) Huffsez - 40% of women have tried "light" bondage 40Deuce - Never did it , but 42% have asked me about it The lady narrating the thing has a sexy British accent - I dated a lady once who HATED British people for some reason . It was weird . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Second base probably Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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the chocolate dipped banana part made me laugh loudly... hubby said "ew" and stepped a little further away from the computer. The fruit/ladyparts one was funny too, I'll never look at a papaya the same again!
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Yep, I was grossed out by the banana going in and out of chocolate, also. Your repeated mentions of 28% make me think that perhaps I should be able to figure this out - perhaps 2/7ths which would mean you have slept with 7 women. But then, it could be 4/14ths or 8/28ths, so I give up.   
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