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A response to a response in the form of a blog post (also a werewolf penis)
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A response to a response in the form of a blog post (also a werewolf penis) Like three seconds ago this dude wildoats19622 posted a response wherein he was talking about the real wolfman (who was actually probably a Hyena it turns out) . I felt compelled to share this and it's way too long to put as a response to a response . Peter Stumpp had many aliases , which is weird , because that he was pretty conspicuous sd he was missing his left hand . Oh , and also because all of his crimes were committed in wolf form . How many canines do you know with alternate identities ? Just Underdog I guess . Maybe Scoobie-Doo ? I don't quite remember . Dino-Mutt also probably . Anyway . Witch and werewolf trials were pretty common in Germany in 1589 , due to it being Germany in 1589 . The only things to do at the time were farm , worship the devil , and make either sausage or war . Clearly , Stumpp was a big fan of those first three . But it was the brutal manner of his execution that put this story on the front page of the Syphilitic Holsteiner Gazette . When caught and pressed , Stumpp admitted to eating livestock and at least 14 (including his own ) two pregnant women , and a bevy pf German maidens (or maids ? I forget how it works - they were dumb virgins) . Stumpp credited his master-level display of lupine dickitry to a magic belt given to him by Satan . But in a Faustian twist , the pumps that came with it didn't match ! Curse your treachery , Beelzebub ! Stumpp perpetrated his crimes on countless victims for 25 years by exploiting the "killer in the woods" cliche . He practically invented Jason Voorhees' patented shtick , including the bit about waiting for the rest of the stupid<b> teenagers </font></b>to split up and go looking for their missing friend . But one day some hunters got the belt off of Stumpp , and then it was time for old-timey German country justice (which is the best/worst kind) . The captured Stumpp was tortured with a breaking wheel , stripped of his flesh with hot metal pincers , and then had all of his limbs broken . Which , for the record , is about as dead as you can get , short of being ground into a fine powder , mixed into a power shake , and digested by fitness freaks with high metabolisms . Hey , remember how real life is actually pretty boring ? What if I told you that people don't actually turn into werewolves ? Stumpp was a Protestant in a part of Germany that had recently been returned to Catholic control . Torturing a fellow Christian , even a heretic , could be a dodgy proposition to explain before the Lord , but a Satan worshiper guilty of the worst crimes , ah ha ! That's doing God's work . Basically , the new ruler of the region made a bloody example of him . But 40 , Stumpp confessed to prosecutors , he must have been guilty ! Did I say prosecutors ? I meant persecutors - people give false confessions all the time , especially while you're torturing the shit out of them (literally) . And even if you don't confess , what's to stop them from saying you did ? It was 1589 for the love of whatever . If you're still not convinced that Stumpp's conviction wasn't on the level , his mistress and (who were known to be of good character , save for that whole Protestant thing) were also tortured , flayed , strangled , and burned . It would be 400 years before Germany finally settled down and took up much more acceptable hobbies , like fascism and coprophilia .  Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I would imagine werewolves go through quite a bit of depilatory products. There was an episode of Gunsmoke where a midget convinces Festus that he {the midget} is a were-elephant. They had lots of fun activities in the good ol' days. The Spanish Inquisition wasn't supposed to shed blood. So they invented the rack and thumbscrews and things that would kill you but not have you bleed all over the place. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Hm, I learned something, I did not know there were coprophiliacs in Germany. Scat you people! Scat! Scat! Oh and Bukakke is a method of cooking noodles. From Wiki, Quote Kakeru in this context means to shower or pour. The word bukkake is often used in Japanese to describe pouring out water with sufficient momentum to cause splashing or spilling. Indeed, bukkake is used in Japan to describe a type of dish where hot broth is poured over noodles, as in bukkake udon and bukkake soba. End Quote Want some Udon or spaghetti? Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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He was a rascally scamp , wasn't he ? My ancestors bailed out of Germany to avoid service in the army (also one of them was avoiding a death sentence for hunting on the Kaiser's land) that's almost as noble as fleeing religious turmoil right ? Tell me about it . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I would imagine werewolves go through quite a bit of depilatory products. There was an episode of Gunsmoke where a midget convinces Festus that he {the midget} is a were-elephant. They had lots of fun activities in the good ol' days. The Spanish Inquisition wasn't supposed to shed blood. So they invented the rack and thumbscrews and things that would kill you but not have you bleed all over the place. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Hm, I learned something, I did not know there were coprophiliacs in Germany. Scat you people! Scat! Scat! Oh and Bukakke is a method of cooking noodles. From Wiki, Quote Kakeru in this context means to shower or pour. The word bukkake is often used in Japanese to describe pouring out water with sufficient momentum to cause splashing or spilling. Indeed, bukkake is used in Japan to describe a type of dish where hot broth is poured over noodles, as in bukkake udon and bukkake soba. End Quote Want some Udon or spaghetti? Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Now would you call her bipolar since she has a pole going in each end? It would be nice if I could think of a retort in less than a week. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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