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| Blogs > PurplePeach72 > No Ordinary Girl! |
Rise & Return of the Neanderthals
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Rise & Return of the Neanderthals January 20, 2010 I�ve had this floating around in my head for a while and am going to try to get it down on paper. Let me say this now b/c I know most of you reading are men, I love men, and despite what many women say, I know that the vast majority of men have evolved well beyond the following examples. That being said, even the best man has his Neanderthal moments. I urge, no beg all of you advanced males to please help the less emotionally developed among you to step up and grow up. I�m also well aware of the fact that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. I firmly believe that most people are good people but even good people do horrible things to others. Neanderthal Type #1 � Chemical imbalance is no excuse for abuse. Much of this blog was prompted by the return of my father to my life. When SS and I divorced 3 years ago, I was able to make a very clean break with my father. I had SS explain it in legal terms and set the parameters for any on going relationship. We both felt that it was important for our and my own sake to make sure that my father understood that his future contact would be on our terms. Basically, my father was told that he could not have any contact with me unless I initiated it. And that if he wanted to have a relationship with us that any and all contact with Lil Bit had to supervised, in a public setting. For those of you who don�t know my story I�ll try to fill you in quickly. My father is and has always been an un-medicated, alcoholic, bipolar, paranoid, partially disabled Vietnam veteran of fighting Irish. His red hair is a warning sign. I didn�t know he was alive until I was 7 or 8. Once he found me, I started flying to Long Island, NY from my rural hometown in Ga. several times a year to visit my father�s family. By the time I was 12, my mother had signed over full custody to my father to avoid prosecution for her part in the sexual abuse I suffered at the hands of her 4th husband. Calvary to the rescue one might think but within 3 years my father was the abuser and proved much harder to escape. Ronnie abused me for 6 years before I moved to NY but it took me 7 years to stop the physical and sexual abuse from my father, and although it had improved over the years the mental and emotional abuse from my father continued until 2006 when I cut all contact. My hope is that this clean cut gave him the reset time he needed to learn to deal with me as an adult and not his emotional punching bag. So why let him back in now you ask; because my beautiful little girl wants to know her Crazy Animal Grandpa. I have explained to her during this 3 year break, the best way I can that her grandpa and I don�t always get along b/c of things he has said and done in the past. Of course I haven�t gone into any detail, she�s too young but with both of my parents I have had to explain that they are more than just the grandparents she knows, they are my parents. Lil Bit has been in phone contact with my dad the entire 3 years. She has had my permission to talk to him. She has never stopped asking about him and the Animals and wanting to see him. I�ve told her that seeing her grandpa was up to him. Well the other night she comes in with her phone and says I need to call grandpa and tell him it�s ok to come to her birthday party. I tell her to call him back and if he really wants to talk to me I will. So she did and I got on the phone. He was concerned that Lil Bit was going to get in trouble for calling him and inviting him to the party. I explained to him that she had my permission to talk to him and he was welcome to come to the party as long as he could behave. He was very nice, and we talked for a long time catching up on how all the Animals were. So he�s planning on coming to her birthday party in Columbus and I�m hopeful that I won�t regret reopening this relationship for Lil Bit�s sake. Neanderthal #2 � My world will be my way or I won�t be part of it Although prompted by a recent reoccurrence, this is not about just one man. This is the lament of a bisexual woman looking for a girlfriend. I know all women are different and bisexuality is variable. For me, what I want is a relationship with a woman. I need a closed loop relationship where all of the people are friends but the primary goal is for the 2 women to have a bisexual partner with the full support of their heterosexual partners. I want to have sex with a woman alone without any guilt or jealousy from my man. I�m sorry guys but we can�t have the same experience with you there. If this mythical woman and I decide to have our husbands join us in some capacity at some point in the future that is awesome. There is an emotional, physical and sexual need for another woman that no man can fulfill. I�m blessed that MM is totally supportive of my bisexuality. There had been some doubt of not being as comfortable as he said. I have no doubts about his sincerity in this department anymore. It has taken some time to get all the knots worked out and it required him to totally step out of the process of finding that unicorn for me. Until recently, there really hadn�t been anyone for me to connect with. When I met Mrs. S that all changed. I knew from talking to her that if it was that good in person then the connection was going to be intense. It is intense and reciprocated. We all meet and enjoy each others company. She and I want the same type of bisexual relationship. We have worked hard to make a great family life. Wow, the star all aligned for me to find a woman that is totally compatible. And then the Neanderthal complex arises and she has to reduce us to just friends. I�m heartbroken for us both. I�ve seen them together. I can see how much she loves him and his love for her. She gave up so much for so long for him. Why is it so hard for some men to understand and accept what it means to be bisexual? It�s not that there�s something missing from our relationship with our husbands. What we are missing is the relationship with a woman, the friendship, the understanding of another woman. It just isn�t something any man can give us. There is a hole in our life that only a special woman can fill. There�s no reason it has to threaten our way of life, our family. Why should it? We�ve been bisexual women our entire lives. Why should we have to continue to deny ourselves true happiness because it�s uncomfortable? We sacrifice so much because of society. We can never show the kind of affection to a woman that we do to our husbands because we live in the Bible belt where the discovery of our bisexual nature would result in loss of good jobs, suits to change custody of , loss of respect in the community, humiliation for our . When we need our best friends, our husbands the most so many of my friends husbands aren�t supportive. If the wife doesn�t involve him in the bisexual relationship then it�s not ok. How can you love someone and expect them to deny a part of what makes them who they are? I don�t understand, but it makes me weep. There are so many beautiful women out there alone because there husbands have forgotten than growth from Neanderthal to man requires change and that is sometimes painful. Please men, if your wife is bisexual, go read some articles about what that means. Ask her what being bi means to her. Understand that she maybe terrified to tell you the full truth. Love her enough to let her truly explore the beauty of being bisexual. MM you are a blessing to me in this regard. Thank you for loving me and my bi-side. Thank you for supporting me in my search, my frustration, my heartache and my joy.  Kisses, LA    |
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Well written. Kisses
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Sometimes opening new doors requires that we tear old doors out. I'm doing what I have to do to try to make what I have work. It was fun. Love, LeeAnn Kisses, LA
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1/28/2010 11:32 am |
Being that you blocked my number and won't return emails I will leave it at this: It was fun.
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